by Terrica Joy in

Let's just subtitle this post...things Christine said to me today.  

The thing you have to understand about her is that she is completely and totally disarming.  Sometimes she thinks it's a bad thing, but it isn't.  It's a wonderful thing. Because it gives her the amazing ability to say things, really hard to say kinds-of-things directly to your face. And all at once you know without question she's right, but rather than getting angry or defensive, you giggle. Because it's Christine.  She's the most gentle and loving person on the planet so it's absolutely impossible to take any kind of offense.  Instead you just giggle at the obviousness of the truth she points out and the fact that you haven't seen it, resigning immediately to fully embrace whatever she suggests.  Most of the time before she's even suggested it...

And for the record, I do not possess this same ability.  And let's just leave that at that.

So, back to things Christine said to me today.  Oh, by the way, I was processing out loud.  Girl stuff. Emotions and such.  

1.) I know you're an extremist.  But you can't be with this.  Just don't.  (Ugh.  Fine.)

2.) I want you to stop using the word 'safe'.  That's a big deal for you.  Don't say it anymore. (regarding me not feeling safe in a relationship--the one element I refuse to compromise on--well, until she says I have to)

3.) You just need to get over that. (Ugh.  Fine again.)  

4.) Expectations.  Expectations are always the problem.  (in regard to me having them)

5.) You can't look at it that way. (but that's how I want to look at it..)

6.)  This isn't about you.  It's never about you.  Stop thinking it is.  It isn't.  (but it hurts my feelings...)  One more time.  It's not about you.

7.) Withdrawing from this is unacceptable.  I won't let you do that.(my solution, immediately shot down)

8.) This makes me feel icky.  I just feel icky.  We can't talk about it anymore.  (effectively ending the conversation in a perfectly non-threatening, Christine kind of way)

9.)  I'm glad we had this conversation.  (You always need to hear those words when you've bared the ugliness of your heart.  You just do.  It's important.)

I felt completely exposed and vulnerable, but couldn't stop giggling the entire conversation.  And I walked away feeling understood, resolved, and at peace...but also challenged and provoked to growth.  


*sigh*  It's her gift, and one of the many, many things I adore about her.  

Do you a friend like this?  Who you can say absolutely anything to without fearing judgment?