A Sweet Awakening

I've never been a morning person.  Ever.

Literally for as long as I can remember I've been a lover of the night... the quiet, the stars, the sacredness and mystery of being cloaked in darkness.  There's something so intimate about it that has always drawn me, seduced me with possibility.  It's the place my greatest dreams have been birthed, my most fervent prayers prayed, my most beautiful poetry written, my most sacred conversations had with both man and God.  

It is, however, a double-edged sword.

You see, being a lover of the night unquestionably means one thing:  I am not so much a lover of the morning.

Don't get me wrong, I certainly embrace the same sacred, mysterious elements that come with the breaking of dawn, new mercies, endless possibilities.  It isn't that I don't love the morning.  I simply don't dance with the dawn in the same manner I do evening.  If night is a graceful slow dance, morning is more a blurry-eyed stumble or tripping over my own feet in a desperate attempt to somehow return to consciousness.

But lately, all that seems to be changing...

Morning after morning just before dawn, the sky a gentle grey barely coming to light... I find myself ever so gently roused.  Tiny kicking feet, little arms and elbows stretching, sometimes what feels like a roll to reposition, and this lover of night finds myself instantly smitten, seduced by the dawn. 

There is no sweeter waking.

A beautiful little life stirs in my womb, and I'm transformed.  Often I reach for Josh and pull him towards me pressing his hand to my belly, and we lie there in the quiet, eyes closed, both beaming with awe and adoration.

I have to admit that I never thought anything would trump my obsession of waking in a new and foreign land, the day stretched out with such limitless adventure and unknown possibility it causes my pulse to race.  But this, this sacred awakening... nothing will ever compare to this.  

Adventure.  Possibility.  Alluring mystery.  Anticipation.  My heart bursting with adoration and new appreciation for the plight of a loving Father.  No adventure the world over compares.

The only thing I look forward to more are the soon coming, gentle mornings of cooing and giggles and kicking feet in a bassinet rather than my belly ;-)

What is it you most look forward to waking to each morning??

More Pinterest Inspired Projects

Remember those amazing vintage suitcases I picked up at the flea market a couple months ago?? I ended up stacking them in our guestroom for awhile just for decor, but then I saw something like this on Pinterest:

How stinkin' cute are my girls??  I know, I know.  It's hard not to squeal at their adorable-ness ;-)

And there are so many trendy descriptive words I could use for this...

Repurposed.  Recycled.  Vintage.  Salvaged.  Art.  (yeah, that one might be a stretch)

Regardless!  My girls seriously LOVE it.  And I feel better that the suitcases actually serve some sort of purpose beyond just sittin' there and lookin' pretty.  Not that I'm opposed to that in general or anything.  At all.  Please let the record show that I'm all about pretty stuff just because it's pretty.  

ANYway, I just had to show you!

Have you created any Pinterest inspired projects lately??  Do share!

The Makings of a Tree

Remember how I mentioned recently that we had a little Pinterest inspired ornament party?  As promised, here are a few shots for ya:

How charming are these guys?  I love them.  I think they're my favorite.

I used vintage-inspired tape I found at the craft store to simply cover styrofoam balls, but my little sister opted to rip pages from an old hymnal to create a similar look.  Both worked!

My Granny and I worked on a dozen of these.  She hot glued the twine to the pine cones, and I brushed them lightly with soft gold paint and added a little ribbon.  Uber cheap and simple with a natural, organic feel.  She had actually collected them years prior around a nearby lake.  They'd just been sitting in a box for ages waiting to be appreciated ;-)  I actually saw some that were very similar at West Elm in Nashville last week, but they cost something stupid like $6 a piece.  Ours cost all of 6 cents, if that.

And my mom whipped these out in no time.  I was super impressed with her magical heart making skills!  She didn't use a pattern at all.  She simply folded felt pieces and cut them perfectly freehand, stuffed them with a bit of cotton, and sewed them up!  I didn't even attempt to make one after witnessing her masterful skill.  (these guys cost about 20 cents a piece)

Such sweet little ornaments.  I love that we made them together, 3 generations of ladies sitting around the table (4 if you count baby girl).  That's definitely a memory I'll cherish for years to come, reflecting each year as we put up our tree.  I can see myself sharing the story with our little girl when she's older, telling her how her Mommy, Aunt, Grandma and Great Grandma laughed and chatted and made all these beautiful ornaments by hand when she was still in my tummy. ;-)

But back to the tree...

Given my love of red berries it is only appropriate to incorporate those here and there for pops of color, and there will be burlap, too.  Think tree skirt, perhaps a few yet-to-be created ornaments, etc.

White twinkle lights, a glowing fire, maybe hot cocoa... Yep, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!  

Josh is thrilled to no end.  I've been suggesting that he really appreciates it this year thanks to the decoration starvation diet I've had him on for years ;-)  He just rolls his eyes...

Ah well, no need to worry as it seems baby girl has already melted my cold, grinch-like heart for good ;-)  I just can't imagine ever denying our children the magic of Christmas, which certainly includes decorating.

Is your tree up yet?  Did you create any new ornaments or decorations?

Encountering God in Playa del Carmen

Peace laden.  Revealing.  Restful.  Inspiring.  Healing.

My prayer was that it wouldn't just be a trip, but rather a subtle collision, an intimate meeting with the God of the universe.  And it was.  Sometimes it takes getting away from the noise to hear Him clearly.  And I needed to hear from Him far more than I even realized.  

He simply isn't capable of disappointing His children when they cry out with sincere hearts.  He heard me.  He heard us.  And He responded.  Brilliantly, beautifully, perfectly... 

At night I'd curl up in the massive canopy bed with a mug of sleepytime tea, and stare across the palm tops and waves to the hazy skyline of nearby Cozumel.  As I'd drift off to sleep, one specific verse rolled around and around in my heart, day in, day out:

"For the Lord God is a sun and a shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor.  No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly."  Psalm 84:11

No good thing.  Not one single, good thing.

Provision, health, safety.  Insight, direction, peace.  Joy, favor, moments of bliss.  The list is endless.  But for me, specifically, it was hours of quiet with my love... on the beach, lounging on the balcony overlooking the ocean reading for hours, curled up in bed, soaking in the jacuzzi.  It was dreaming of the future, exploring blissful possibilities, planning towards our growing family.  It was long and honest conversations with the Lord, humbly asking questions, waiting for answers, being inspired beyond what we thought possible.  It was sharp and crystal clarity neither of us have had in a long time... and peace.  Sheer, pure, unadulterated peace that could only have come from Him.  It crept up like a silent fog, engulfing us entirely.  It was alluring, enchanting, and we didn't hesitate to fall into it's grasp, letting our hearts and minds settle with childlike trust.

I felt so completely safe and loved, so seen.  I kept telling Josh, "Our Father is so good.  He's so generous to us.  It's overwhelming, almost unreal sometimes.  He is just.  So.  Good."

Life isn't always good.  In fact, it downright sucks sometimes.  We live in a truly fallen, broken, jacked-up world.  It's reality.  But He is good.  We get our hearts broken, our dreams dashed, our hopes pulverized.  But He is good.  We get hurt, depressed, upset, lost.  But He is good.

He is unchanging.  He is forever for us.  He is good.  

And I, well... I am forever grateful.  Astounded by His goodness for a thousand reasons I could never begin to put to words, day in, day out...  I am grateful.

Sometimes, more than anything else, we just need to hear from our Father.  Perhaps regarding something specific, perhaps simply to connect.  If you need that life-giving infusion of Truth, I hope you'll intentionally seek it out.  I promise you won't regret it.  Even a mere 10 minutes of silence and seeking will deeply nourish your soul.

24 Weeks

We're absolutely taken with this baby girl already.  I simply never want to forget this season, these sacred moments...

~The look of awe on her Daddy's face every time he feels her kick.

~Laying in bed and praying over her until we both fall asleep, still mumbling blessings.

~Watching Josh research and research for hours on end, everything from strollers to carriers to breast pumps.  What an amazing Daddy he already is, such care, such concern, such sheer indescribable love for a baby girl he hasn't even met yet.

~Whispering a name that no one else knows, feeling so complete as a family already.

~Preparing our hearts for a beautiful delivery, a celebration of new life, new love, a new world.

~Preparing our hearts for what it really means to be parents, to die to ourselves day after day for the sake of this tiny little life entrusted to our care.

These are just a miniscule handful of so many moments... so many sacred moments.  And knowing how drastically our whole world is about to change makes each and every one of them feel so vivid, so alive.

I simply never.  Want to forget.  These moments.

Tidbits: Baby News, Holiday Plans, Upcoming Adventures

~We've officially picked a name for baby girl Smith!  It took a good bit to decide.  We wanted something beautiful with a lot of meaning, but also a bit unique.  After landing on a handful we really liked we took a couple weeks to try them out, see which one felt right.    

I love what TD Jakes says about naming a child, "Understand that a name is important.  It tells something about your origin or your destiny.  You don't want just anyone to name you.  No one should want just anyone to prophesy over him without knowing whether or not that person is right.  Words have power!"  

He has an entire chapter on the power of names in his book Can You Stand to Be Blessed? which I just happened upon the week before we found out we were having a girl.  I almost wept during portions of it. Needless to say, picking a name was a very intimate, sacred decision for us.  However before you start asking, we've decided not to announce the name until birth.  I know, such a tease ;-)  But we love the sacredness of sharing that last secret until the end, and the power of knowing we have such profound influence even now in speaking truth over her day after day.  Every time we speak her name, we're speaking to her destiny.  

~In other baby related news, we're loving BabyLi.st for all things registry related.  It's so simple to use and allows you to register for items from just about anywhere, including non-traditional places like Etsy. Why didn't someone think of this sooner??  People can purchase the item right off the linked website and it's shipped to their door (or yours), OR can simply pick up in any store of choice.  I personally love that we can link directly to amazon for tons of products, which essentially means saving a nice chunk of change.  It's super user friendly for friends and family, and quick and easy to edit/manage for the parents-to-be.  We love it!  If you know of someone who's expecting you might suggest it!

~I spent part of this past weekend with my Mom, Granny, and Tirzah making Christmas ornaments.  I laughed so hard I cried a time or two.  That Granny of mine just cracks me up ;-) Pinterest was our inspiration, think burlap, twine, vintage music paper, pine cones, etc.  Soon as I take a few photos I'll have to show you.  I still need to have another little party or two to make more, but so far I'm thrilled with how they're turning out.  This is a very big deal you see, because I've played Mr. Grinch the last, oh... 7 years??  I've refused to put a tree up or do anything Christmas-y around the house for a whole list of totally legit, very practical reasons.  It's broken my husband's holiday-loving heart year after year.  I always promised however, that as soon as we had babies I'd flip the switch. I'm true to my word.  And technically we won't have a baby until next Christmas, so kudos to me for getting ahead of the game!!  Right?!  Anyone?? ANYone?!  C'mon...

~Oh, one other piece of baby news I failed to mention earlier...  Remember how the sono technician offered to do another sonogram after shocking us with news of a little girl??  Well, I'm taking her up on it.  I'm going back to have a second sonogram tomorrow, to ensure it's a she ;-)  I'm totally and unapologetically attached to the idea of having a daughter now.  And my heart cannot take another surprise.  Lord help me... (If you happen to see a post tomorrow filled with crazy all-over-the-place emotions, you'll know why.)  ;-)

~And lastly, we're headed out for a couple little adventures over the next few weeks. First, several days of sun and sea in the Riviera Maya, a stretch of the Yucatan Peninsula in Mexico from Playa de Carmen down past Tulum.  We fell in love with Tulum years ago after I accidentally booked us at a nudist resort. Oops! Apparently the Tulum area was a huge draw for nudists back in the 70's.  How was I to know that?!  It turned out fine in the end.  We were able to re-book last minute at a truly lovely, clothing strictly required hotel, but we did have to shield our eyes a time or two from the... body parts.  Ya know, people walking down the beach from those other resorts where clothing was considered, um, optional.  Though I do love Tulum with with its rain forest and reefs and romantic, remote feel, I'm happy to report we'll be far north of the area this time, by at least an hour or so.  No need to worry about nakedness. ;-)  

We'll only be back home for a few days before loading up for Nashville.  My little sister-in-law has already sent disappointing word that the leaves are pretty much gone.  So sad.  But certainly Thanksgiving will be wonderful!  Cooking, family, long walks and talks and laughter.  It's sure to be delightful, no doubt!  I'll try to take loads of photos to share when we get home.

So there's a few recent highlights from our world!  What are your plans for Thanksgiving?